Preparing for a race on the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (LEOG) is a huge task, that requires much planning and co-ordination by all who sail her. Once the Tri-lattes have been sipped delicately and the esky has been stocked full of Evian water, discussion on which sail will best suit us to defeat that little pest of the seas Axis of evil (with it’s mighty barrel chested crew) begins. This is our plan and nothing will stop us in defeating that band of men.
With the sails selected and “men” in position we set sail for the river to see what the starter has planned for us today. A gift is handed to us on a plate when we see the fleet will be set on course 5, down to Cockatoo and back up the river. The men of Axis will never beat us when sheer sail driven horse power comes in to play on our long lean racing machine. Guest starters Paul and Dell get division 3 away without incident, and division 1 line up. There’s a big ebb tide, Pat in Still Festering tries the middle of the river while LOEG and Axis hit the start line from the Sydney rowers side. Sailing fast and above the Axis, Speed showed his evil technical genius and squeezed us out! This made us drop behind him as cemented a great opening play from the start.. The size and power of Still Festering see them sail their own race as we fight valiantly against that trumped up division 1 imposter. That little pest time and again kept us trapped behind their tuck as we head down to Drummoyne. As we sail past Wright Point, Uncle Fester is at Huntley point LOEG are in the middle of the River with Axis working and climbing off Wright’s point and doing it easily. This is where we will squash these pests in the little 22 ft boat, sheer water line length and horse power from our large genoa will allow us to blow them away. But no, as we round Snapper Island… there they are no more than 2 minutes behind us and Pat is half way to Cockatoo! Rounding the bottom end of Cockatoo Island, we had the best lift that saved us minutes. No way will Axis make it on their last work! As we head up the Eastern shore of Cockatoo Island, preparing the kite, we look behind to see the pest are right on our backs. What lift did they get?! With spinnakers up at Hunter’s Hill boatshed again we look behind to see the best spinnaker set on Axis that anyone could want to see. Sacre Bleu! Here they come! Will this boat ever learn its rightful place in the hierarchy of the river!We are catching Still festering who choose not to put up the spinnaker and take them between Huntley point and Drummoyne wharf. Here’s hoping that the title of “girls” may be taken from us today as Axis is now approaching Still Festering at Wrights point.We pass Searls with the race in the bag and now Axis can not catch us. We head to mark one were we round and tp watch the most perfect spinnaker drop on the river, Axis is again in hot pursuit back to 5 and we are working hard and sucking harder on the Evian as even we elite sailors need to keep hydrated at all times! We manage to stay in front of the men on Axis at mark 5 the spinnaker goes up ever slowly (are my crew drinking enough water, I question myself internally?) We have a wine glass and correct it, but we loose valuable seconds as AOEs comes powering down after another terrific kite set, these boys have got there stuff together. Sailing to mark 3 back to 5 and finish we hope we have worked hard enough to beat the AOE, but write this race report with a heavy heart, as we know ourselves, that we will never rise to the standard of those hairy, barrel chested band of expert sailors that push that exceptional little AOE around the river each week. In the light of their sailing prowess which shines like an “Aurora Parramattalis” we remain the dim red porch lamps that are lit for girls who know try their best, but can never succeed.
Skipper D River.
Skipper D River.
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